Relationships have their fair share of ups and downs. To say the least, they are not easy because they require a lot of time and effort. Sometimes you might feel that things are not working the way they should. Sometimes, the daily life stress and tension may take a toll on your relationship.
Often you might get into conflicts that can cause differences between you and your partner. Being stuck in a tough spot can severely affect the dynamics of your relationship with your partner. This is where relationship counseling comes into the picture. It helps you address the elephant in the room!
How does that counseling achieve that? Relationship counseling taps into the conflicts that a couple is reluctant to resolve. This helps them move beyond their differences and find a solution to their issues!
However, what to expect from relationship counseling? Do not worry; we will prepare you with everything you need to know about relationship counseling!
1. You Need to Be Receptive
Being a good listener is probably the hardest thing you endure during relationship counseling. It can be quite challenging to listen to your partner sharing their painful and bitter thoughts. It may even be heartbreaking; however, remember that this openness and honesty from your partner will help you both figure out what went wrong!
Keep your guard down, and do not get defensive when you hear something that stabs your heart, pride, or ego. Recognize and accept your flaws because this milestone will get you through the tough mode of your relationship.
2. Be Candid
If you thought that counseling just involved you listening to your partner and their problems, you got it all wrong. You have to be candid in expressing your emotions, issues, and secrets that obstruct you from truly embracing the relationship.
Do not shy away from saying something because it might be offensive to your partner. A relationship counselor will be there with you every step of the way and help you relieve yourself of all the stress and pain.
All you have to do is trust the process and be honest with them. Remember that keeping a secret won’t help you save your relationship! If you are worried that you will be judged on the basis of your thoughts and emotions, you need not fret! You can refer to couples therapy charlotte, and keep all your inhibitions at bay.
3. No One Is The Winner
It takes two to tango, which means that if something goes wrong in a relationship, both the partners involved are at fault. Remember that the goal of relationship counseling is not to emerge victorious as an individual but to beat the issue at hand together with your partner.
So do not try playing the blame game and avoid victimizing yourself or adding extra dramatic elements to make your perspective sound more disheartening to your counselor. If you start focusing on how to pin the blame on your partner, your relationship counseling will not prove to be effective in any manner.
4. You Need Patience
Day one is not going to be a session where all your major problems will be addressed. In fact, the first few sessions revolve around making you feel safe and comfortable. Your relationship counselor will ask you many questions and seek answers. The input you provide through your answers sets the tone for the counseling and helps your counselor on the approach they should take with you.
If you become agitated that your counselor is not addressing your problem and start losing patience, your counseling sessions will fail. Keep an open mind, be patient, and let your relationship counselor take charge of the counseling!
5. The Storm Before The Calm
Do not expect all your perils to be resolved just by sharing your thoughts with each other. Things may get worse because all your trapped emotions will be stirred. You may feel that your problems have escalated and that relationship counseling has further damaged your relationship.
However, that is not the case! You may have heard of the phrase “the calm before the storm,” but hear us out. There will be a storming stage in your counseling before you reach a calm state. Your unadulterated and raw emotions will help your counselor decide on which approach to take to help you beat the storm!
6. Therapy Does Not Take Place Just In the Office
No, it is not just a one-hour or two-hour session that you devote to resolving your conflicts. Steer clear of the misconception that your relationship counseling only takes place inside your counselor’s office.
You may be assigned homework to help you prepare for the next session. Sometimes, exercises assigned by the counselor are team projects while in some cases, they might be a reading or writing exercise.
Do all these exercises diligently to ensure that you are well prepared for the next session!
7. Discomfort Might Knock on Your Door
Tapping into those emotions may not only cause pain, but they might cause you discomfort too. Although counselors try their best to make you feel cozy, you will still get pushed out of your comfort zone as you discover new truths about yourself.
You may even learn new things in this process that may not be easy to digest. It is important to note that you should maintain determination and not decide to quit relationship counseling because it causes you discomfort.
Deciding to opt for relationship counseling is a significant step that requires guts. It is hard to keep aside your ego in your relationship and introduce a third person who can guide you in untangling the complications in your relationship.
Relationship counseling can help you be open with your partner and help you bridge that communication gap. Remember that a relationship is all about navigating the hardships of life together. Do not give up and face these difficulties together! Above all, you deserve to be happy in your relationship, so do not shy away from counseling when things are beyond your control.