Women

How to Balance Friendships and a New Relationship

At the moment, I’m in a pretty great situation. I’ve got great friends who I can turn to in times of need and I have a boyfriend who I trust completely. I’m the kind of girl who can have a little fun and then fall asleep next to my best friend’s boyfriend because I trust him as much as I do my best friend.

A recent study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that people who are juggling a relationship with a new partner and keeping up with friends and family are more stressed, less happy, and more anxious than people who are single and enjoying their lives. The “work-life-friendship triad” is a common challenge that people face. If you’re juggling all these balls, sometimes it feels like you’re juggling too many.

How do you balance a new relationship with friends and old ones at the same time? Should you have a new boyfriend, or keep your current boyfriend and try to keep in touch with your old friends? You have to decide. Relationships are important to us. They make us happy. They also make us sad. Our friends help us grow, and provide us with a support system. But with a new partner comes a new set of friends. And they can be tricky to balance.

We’ve all been there: a buddy gets a new boyfriend, and you either don’t see her again or her guy follows you around all the time. Perhaps we’ve even been that person (guilty!). Friendships and romantic relationships are vital parts of our lives, but striking a balance may be difficult, particularly in the beginning. When you’re in your twenties, you spend so much time with your pals that transitioning smoothly to a love interest may be difficult. Here are some suggestions for avoiding damaged emotions on both sides and spreading your love:

Have one-on-one time

Continue to give each side alone time, even if you want to spend time introducing friends and partners. Try not to include everyone at all times, whether it’s hanging out with your BFF or BF. This will allow you to really connect with and prioritize whomever you’re with.

Have thoughtful conversations

Of course, you want to tell your friends about the man you’re seeing, but there was a friendship before he came around. There’s more to discuss than just your relationship. Make sure to talk about what’s going on in your friends’ lives, ask them questions, and have a good time! Don’t be the person who continually brags about how happy you are, especially if your buddy is having relationship problems. Similarly, most men aren’t interested in hearing about your girlfriends all of the time. Instead than constantly talking about others, value individual relationships.

Make preparations.

When I was single, I had a buddy who would frequently call me and invite me to dinner or happy hour. Then, as soon as she has a partner, I only hear from her when I try to contact her—and she’s never available. Don’t be like her! If you spend the bulk of your time with your man, make arrangements with your pals. If you’ve been to a lot of friend gatherings recently, think of something enjoyable you and your guy can do together.

How-to-Balance-Friendships-and-a-New-Relationship

Consider tiny groupings.

If you DO want to invite your friends and significant other, start with smaller gatherings. This allows your pals to get to know your boyfriend and vice versa. A baseball game or a food truck event are both excellent choices; there is plenty of time to chat but there is also much to do, so it isn’t an uncomfortable situation.

Don’t try to push it.

Even if you believe your buddies are the funniest people in the planet and your partner is incredible, personalities and hobbies don’t always match. Instead of pushing your BFF to hang out with your guys’ group of pals when you go out, don’t force it or take it personally if they don’t. Find the groups that appear to get along easily, and don’t stress about becoming the best of friends with everyone in your life.

Be open

My fiancée and I had a lot of issues when we initially started dating because of my buddies. He adored them, but I was terrible at spending one-on-one time with him and always included my friends in our plans. He was understanding and open about the fact that he wanted more time with just the two of us, and that, as much as he loved my friends, they were too engaged in our relationship. I wasn’t even aware of it, but as soon as he spoke his real feelings, I understood completely. I may not have known if he hadn’t said anything.

Be upfront about it if you’re having trouble with a buddy who is just interested in her boyfriend or a partner who is only interested in their pals. If they don’t listen to what you say, you may want to rethink your relationship.

Who else has struggled to find a happy medium? How did you strike a balance between the two?

There’s nothing more stressful in life than having a new relationship, and there’s nothing more embarrassing than telling your friends that you’ve started dating someone new. Usually, it’s best to keep things from your friends until you’re sure things are going well with your new partner. But when do you know it’s time to tell your friends? After a few weeks? A few months? How long should you wait? And if you do tell your friends, how should you handle it?. Read more about boundaries with friends when in a relationship and let us know what you think.

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Frequently Asked Questions

How can I balance my girlfriend and friends?

There are many ways to balance your girlfriend and friends, but the most important thing is to be honest with yourself. If youre not happy with how things are going, its time to make a change.