Women

How to Change a Thought Pattern You’ve Had Your Whole Life

You’ve heard it a hundred times: you can’t change a habit you’ve had your whole life. But is that really true? You may have did it subconsciously, and without even knowing it. That’s exactly what psychologist and author of The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg, found when researching how people can change their habits.

I never thought I would say this, but here I am, sharing this secret with the world. The key to success is not what you’re doing right now, it’s in the past. You see, I’ve had the same thought pattern my whole life, and no matter what I did, it always came back to the same result. It’s normal because we are a product of our past, but that doesn’t mean our past has to dictate our future. I got in my own way all of the time, but now I’m changing it.

Have you ever gotten a diagnosis of a health condition and been told your have a particular thought or behavior pattern? This is called a thought or thought pattern. These thoughts and behaviors can cause you to be overweight or sick, and can even be the reason for anxiety and depression. I get it. There is a lot of stigma around mental health care and mental health issues, and the last thing you need is to have a “stigmatized” condition such as depression or anxiety. Let’s talk about how to change a thought or thought pattern.

One of the most significant lessons I’ve learned from therapy is that altering your thinking patterns may alter your whole life. Based on what we’ve learned, seen, and received, we’ve all grown up with certain thinking patterns ingrained in our minds. Some are more upbeat, such as “It feels wonderful to assist others.” Some, though, such as “I have to achieve or I am not worthy,” may be crippling.

These thinking patterns are really reinforced neuronal connections in our brains over time. As a result, altering them is difficult. It’s similar to retraining a muscle. It takes time and work, but wow, is it worth it when you succeed!

Step 1: Recognize the Pattern of Thought

Simply identifying a thinking pattern you’ve had your whole life is the first step toward altering it. We often think in particular ways without even realizing it. To begin, just acknowledge the times that certain thinking patterns arise. For instance, I just discovered how much pressure I put on myself to accomplish everything perfectly. Throughout the day, I’ll notice times when I’m anxious and realize they’re often caused by this thinking process. Even something as basic as lining up in the correct grocery store queue. I’ll detect a tinge of worry and understand it’s due to the belief that I can’t possibly go wrong.

Instead of berating myself for having these ideas, I attempt to recognize them. I’ll only notice them if they’re present. I don’t attempt to alter them right immediately; instead, getting into the habit of recognizing them is critical for the next stage. It also helps me feel strangely less nervous. Naming the idea or feeling that is running through my mind may help to alleviate some of the tension that comes with it.

Step 2: Recognize where it originates

Understanding precisely what these thinking patterns imply, where you acquired them, and what you really feel about them is critical. We may see how irrational or impractical that style of thinking is once we analyze them. This is best done with the help of a therapist, but you may do it on your own or with a buddy.

All you have to do now is keep asking yourself questions like, “Why do you feel this way?” “What other people in your life think this way?” “Who taught you this way of thinking (directly or indirectly?)?” and “What is your earliest recollection of thinking this way?” ,”What if you didn’t think this way?” and so on. These kind of questions may tell a lot about yourself. And if you have a greater knowledge of why you believe the way you do, it may be simpler to change your mind.

Step 3: Develop a Counter-Response

The next stage is to develop an alternate reaction once you’ve spent time thinking about where these thought patterns originate from (which may take hours or even years). Try to think of anything to say in your mind to replace the thinking process you’re attempting to alter. With the ridiculous amount of pressure I placed on myself, for example, I came up with the alternate response: “You don’t have to be perfect.” It’s something I’ll tell myself when I start to hear those old thinking patterns creeping back in. It may seem easy, but it may be very beneficial if you can come up with a different answer that genuinely speaks to you.

Step 4: Put in the work and be patient.

It may seem, based on how I’ve written this out, that you just follow the three steps and you’re done. That isn’t exactly how it works. It takes time and effort to change your mindset. It’s comparable to muscle memory in that retraining your muscles is essentially the same as retraining your brain. So, be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to remain in Step 1 for as long as you need to, or go back to Step 1 if you’re too impatient to listen to an alternative answer. Allow yourself to investigate another alternative if you discover that the other answer you came up with isn’t working over time. Allow yourself the time and space to alter this thinking pattern as needed.

Being caught in a negative thought pattern can make it hard to get out of it, particularly with age and experience adding stress and weight to the mix. Negative patterns develop quite young, but it is only recently that we have had the ability to identify them, and to know how to change them.. Read more about changing thought patterns worksheets and let us know what you think.

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